A Year of Mystical Thinking by Emma Howarth

Author:Emma Howarth [Emma Howarth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2021-06-23T00:00:00+00:00

I felt as if I could really see for the first time that everything in the universe is connected.

But there was a panicky, urgent feeling too. It felt like a truth was about to be revealed to me. It was so close I could almost touch it and yet it was just out of reach. Before I could find it, the treatment was over.

I felt as if I was on another planet. This wasn’t the dreamy, relaxed feeling I’d experienced with sound baths or yoga. It was different. I asked Myra if she thought she’d learnt anything about me from doing the treatment. She got it in one when she told me that I was all in my head and totally ungrounded. I’d never felt less grounded in my life. It felt as if I was on fire. But in a good way – as if I was burning with the kind of energy that never runs out.

That’s when the realization hit me – and it was one that I felt instantly compelled to voice. I’m not normally the free and easy sharing type so hearing my inner monologue spoken out loud was pretty unnerving: ‘I just don’t fit in here, in this part of the world,’ I said. ‘It all feels too showy, too materialistic. Too busy. Too exhausting. It’s not for me, but…’

‘I hear you,’ Myra interrupted. Was she trying to stop me from saying what I was going to say next?

‘But…’ I continued. ‘I think that might be exactly why I ended up here. So I can show people that there’s another way. That life doesn’t have to be such a hustle. That it can all be so much easier. That there’s magic in the world if you just take the time to look for it.’

Myra looked at me for what felt like a long time. I was sure she was about to nod sagely and confirm that everything I’d said was true. I felt as though she had the power to affirm me and send me on my way, out into the world to wave a magic wand over everything I found difficult or painful or sad. I looked back at her, my feet swinging as I sat on the edge of the bed.

‘That’s just your ego talking,’ she said eventually, as she folded a sarong. ‘That’s all just ego.’

I felt crushed, and I didn’t know how to react. I was so sure I’d hit on the answer to everything! Why wasn’t she telling me what I wanted to hear?

‘Trying to change those outside yourself is a very difficult path to take,’ Myra added.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. But it was Laura’s turn in the magic shed so I slipped out and sat with my notebook in the sunshine, contemplating my own stupid ego.

Had it really been my ego talking? I felt like I barely had an ego. I’d spent my whole life being what other people wanted me to be.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.